I always wanted a man to look me in the eyes and tell me he saw the universe
a galaxy bursting with laughter and light
with kisses that struck him into the space between seconds
I wanted him to whisper to my scars, sweat, and frizzy hair that I embodied the Forever
I always wanted a man to look me in the eyes and say he saw a supernova.
so electric that his veins jolted into light years and his heart would forget how to breathe
we’d soar into the endless vacuum of each other’s arms, falling into both nowhere
and everywhere
at once.
instead I got a winky face on my phone screen
a drunken hand on my hips
eyes that poured over me with flashes of porn
I was no galaxy.
I saw a girl staring at me in the mirror with fear decorating her eyes in black paint
her flaws screamed like sharpie stains. permanent and loud
her body was an ugly clay
something to pick apart, mold, and give away
she waited for someone to shape her worth into words
maybe if she wasn’t waiting for someone to tell her she was the world
she would have loved her own colors, laughter, and light
and swam in the vacuum of her endless eyes
she would have seen through the scars, sweat, and friz that she embodied the Forever
and only once she could look into her own eyes and see the universe
then,
and only then,
would she invite him to see it too.
